overthinking
by sadcatsam
Summary: He wasn't into psychology or case studying people, but Starscream was one of those people that just screamed to be thought about.


" _He's told so many lies, kept so many secrets, has so many things he won't admit to himself… How else could he be?_ " Wheeljack let Windblade's words sit in his head. Every once in awhile whilst sitting down looking at his projects, out drinking, or looking out at Cybertron those words would occasionally ring in his head. Sometimes they gently laid themselves down on Wheeljack's mind and he played with them as an afterthought. Then there were times where the words would stick on his tongue, her worried expression playing in his head, Starscream's panic ringing in his audials. It was _almost_ distressing for him. Unlike some of his friends and Starscream himself he didn't enjoy picking people apart and studying them as if they were a piece of work placed out for everyone to observe. His world was discovery and invention- numbers, the exchange of knowledge, **renaissance**. Psychology was beyond him, it only applied when it came to someone he knew having a PTSD breakdown (something he was certain everyone had including himself). It started and ended there.

Yet he couldn't help but think about those words. He admitted Starscream was an interesting case study; everyone hated him yet kept him around for no particular reason, the seeker was sick of himself, but his intentions for Cybertron were true- as true as Wheeljack could make it out at least, or was that all apart of his unravelling lies? The thought was shaken out of his head as the engineer vented an exhale looking back to the cityline. No, he didn't need to have those thoughts. Starscream already only had one singular person to trust and he wasn't going to deny that. Interestingly Wheeljack was the only person in the galaxy that gave Starscream the benefit of doubt. To be fair, for everything that was said and done, he didn't expect anyone to give Starscream anything, but somehow Wheeljack felt alone in some odd sense. There was a nervousness that befell him whenever he defended Starscream, it ate at his very spark and nearly made Wheeljack too embarrassed to speak.

Another vented sigh as he laid backwards on the roof. Legs dangled beneath him hitting the metal structure he sat upon. Optics looked at the sky that was swirling in red, orange, and purple. He came here to think about the war, no one bothered him here and someone would usually ping him if he was needed. When did his pre-war and post-war thoughts begin to be occupied solely by Starscream? Eventually he found himself squinting at nothing in particular and picking grime out between his fingers trying hopelessly to get those thoughts out of his head. Then he heard the roar of a jet engine, heard someone transform in the air, then the thump of metal against metal as someone landed not too far from him. Wheeljack hardly acknowledged the other's presence knowing already who it was just by the sound and lack of warning that he would be paying Wheeljack a visit. Perhaps Wheeljack might have been a _little_ bit peeved that someone found out about his super secret hiding spot and maybe he would have given a snarky comment but seeing as how his thoughts of Starscream occupied his mind and the one and only was walking towards him he had no right to say anything. What was that human phrase? Speak of the devil and he doth appear.

Eventually he began to sit up in defeat, shaking his head and holding his hands up. "Guess you found my secret hiding spot," it was a low attempt to create conversation since usually when Starscream was quiet it meant something was very wrong. "Honestly thought you would find it sooner." He let his arms fall between his legs and steal a glance at the seeker who was now towering above Wheeljack. Part of him felt slightly nervous in that Starscream could very well easily push him off and claim it was a freak accident. Why else would Starscream be here if he wasn't plotting something?

In the end the Seeker began to sit down himself, giving only the smallest grunt as he let his legs begin to dangle off the side of the building like Wheeljack. "I've known for quite awhile," the tone was almost condescending. For Wheeljack it made him relaxed knowing that Starscream was his usual self. Still, he waited for something, when it actually came nothing in the world could have prepared Wheeljack for it. "I like to come here sometimes also," and the way Starscream said it almost was if there was a _longing_ in his voice. Wheeljack tried his best not to show his confusion having found the smallest gap in Starscream's impenetrable armor.

Guiltily Wheeljack considered it a win. To someone else they might consider it a way into Starscream to destroy but Wheeljack saw the slightest change in his tone a victory in discovery. Windblade's words rung through his head again, he tried to ignore them. He had to keep it going, had to try and let Starscream open up a little. If Starscream really did trust Wheeljack all that much then the least he could do was give Wheeljack something to hold onto rather than it being vise versa (not that Wheeljack really minded the lack of anything it just oft times felt odd). "Oh?" he raised his optic at Starscream who now was leaning back on his elbows. Red optics were admiring the sun, the colors of the sky almost reflected off of Starscream's red body. A semi-smile plastered on the other's face, nothing he considered terribly out of character for Starscream as he oft saw it on him when he was around Wheeljack, but it still always made him somewhat suspicious. "I can imagine with the politics and all." He didn't stop staring, perhaps he should have but his optics were transfixed on the other.

Starscream crinkled his nose just enough to show disdain. Perhaps he shouldn't have brought it up but they both knew it true. "To get away from Rattrap specifically," it sounded jokingly enough but Wheeljack knew that there was more that Starscream was letting on. He accidentally eavesdropped on the other's personal rants one too many times, learned more about the seeker than the seeker knew, and he felt genuinely horrible about it. "Even Kings tire of their subjects," he drawled rolling his optics to land on Wheeljack, who just realized how long he had been staring at the seeker. Their optics locked, Wheeljack's in mild surprise and Starscream almost teasingly as if he knew from the start that he had been staring for a few seconds too long as if admiring the other's relaxed state. That knowing smile was now plastered onto the other's face like a shit-eating grin and he just so carefully shifted his body to lean towards Wheeljack. The engineer was quick to look away after a few seconds, head turning back towards the cityscape making a noise that sounded so similar to clearing one's throat (earth customs were so easy to pick up and so hard to forget). He was about to speak before Starscream beat him to it, "Tell me. Why do _you_ come here?" His voice now sounded bored, maybe even almost disappointed. Disappointed of what? Now Windblade's words were completely put to the side to mull over that.

Desperately he tried to act as if nothing transpired between the two of them. A shrug and then a reply, "Usually to think." He was thinking right now, thinking about the way Starscream was acting as if he was trying to get something out of Wheeljack. Not in the usual way Starscream tried to play someone to get something, but almost as if the other was too scared to ask for it. Of course, Wheeljack didn't know Starscream long enough to know if this was just another tactic to get what he wanted or if he was actually scared to ask for something.

Blue optics just barely glanced at Starscream who returned to looking at the city. He was hunched over now. An arm propped upon his leg and chin against his hand with a single digit rubbing across his cheek in thought. "Enlighten me." The request, though seemed simple enough, was a lot harder for Wheeljack to comprehend. How was he suppose to explain that he often came here to think about Starscream himself?

It was going to be difficult to lie to the master himself. "The war," he replied simply at first. Which wasn't a lie but merely a cover up. "Sometimes about the future and what's going to happen to us." He let that word slip out before he could catch himself. Beside him Wheeljack could feel Starscream shift slightly after he said that. Scrap. "Occasionally I'll think about everything before this mess, y'know? How simple things use to be before Autobot and Decepticon." Now he was speaking from the heart, letting things slip he didn't mean to but just did. He kept his focus off of Starscream almost fearing how the other would react.

But his spark leapt out of chest instead. Wheeljack could have barely believed what he heard at first but there was no mistaking that he heard Starscream whisper them. It took all of his willpower not to whip his head towards Starscream wide eyed in shock, but instead he just carefully turned towards the Seeker almost as if he would fly away like Earthen birds. Their eyes met again, Starscream's almost embarrassed to having uttered those words, and Wheeljack's both confused, shocked, and flattered. It rung in his head like the how Windblade's did. "Then I wouldn't have met you." He might have mouthed the words once or twice if he had a mouth to begin with so he opted in doing something stupid.

A quick, fake, prayer to Primus was sent in his head. Then he reached out for the other's hand. Time seemed to stop as he carefully plucked the seeker's hand from his lap and began to rub a thumb over the top of Starscream's hand. Was it romance? Wheeljack sure as hell didn't know. He might have argued it was friendship, part of him wanted to argue it was friendship, then there was that part of him that was craving something more, something stupid. He trembled slightly and he could feel the intensity vibrating off of Starscream, the unknowing that the both of them were walking into. Admittedly their relationship was complicated enough, for Wheeljack was a simple engineer that had faith in one of the worst people in the world (but sometimes he would wonder why people had more faith in Megatron than Starscream) and Starscream had Cybertron in his hands. This was just making this even more overly complicated, and though Wheeljack lived off complicated it was only when it had to do with discovery and projects, not whatever this was.

It somehow felt wrong, all of it felt wrong. The way Starscream shifted his hand to intertwine with Wheeljack's fingers, the way he slowly leaned towards him, the way the other's wings twitched and perked. Another question crawled into Wheeljack's mind: How long had he had these feelings? How long did _Starscream_ have these feelings? Were these just one of the things that Starscream wouldn't admit to himself? His mind was on cloud 9, spark pulsing in every which way it could. It didn't take long for Wheeljack to come to the revelation that he had never felt this way about anyone, and to be frank, he never thought he'd have any feelings for Starscream of all people.

There were words itching to come out, something to stop this because they both very well knew that whatever this becoming was going to be something they would regret. Those words never came as Starscream pressed his other hand upon Wheeljack's chest. It felt like an hour that it lingered on there before the seeker pushed the other down back upon the roof of the building. Wheeljack was becoming beyond confused. Was Starscream trying to initiate something more? "S-Starscream-" he wasn't looking for lust. Defensively his hands raised up ready to push Starscream off, which may have been a bad idea in retrospect seeing as how they were both sitting on the edge of the building but at least the other could fly. The seeker gave a snort.

"Don't think me so depraved," and he raised his hand up with the other still upon Wheeljack's chest. It intertwined between the his fingers and pressed into the other's touch. Then what the hell was Starscream trying to do? Wheeljack was beginning to think it was some weird Decepticon thing. _Tussle with your crush in order to show how much they mean to you._ He didn't realize how tense he was until Starscream leaned down to whisper to him. "I won't hurt you," and his mouth met with Wheeljack's faceplate. There was nothing the engineer could give Starscream, he couldn't return the kiss, he couldn't bite down on anything (not like he wanted to). The only thing he could possibly do was lean into the other's face or use his free hand to rub the other's waist. Needless to say it all felt so weird to him, the other shivering at Wheeljack's fingers tracing the other's plating or just the way Starscream would push Wheeljack further and further into the ground as if it was some dominance fight (it was probably a Decepticon thing). It was kinda hot.

When Starscream finally pulled away from Wheeljack he looked down at the other as if admiring his handiwork. Red optics traced up from his chest all the way to Wheeljack's dazed face. They both wanted to say something, anything to break the silence, but both opted to let go of each other's hands. Starscream's cupped Wheeljack's face and Wheeljack the back of Starscream's neck. He stopped thinking about Windblade's words, stopped trying to label whatever this was as something, stopped thinking about the war and the Golden Age, all Wheeljack wanted to think about was this **feeling**. Everything was all in slow motion, the way Starscream's finger traced the plating on Wheeljack's face made made his eyes go heavy and Wheeljack just began to drag his hand down to rest against Starscream's chest.

Starscream's mouth opened, he was going to say something, but just as the beginning word was about to leave his mouth it hitched and stopped. His face twisted and Wheeljack tipped his head to the side in confusion. _Did I do something?_ The seeker pushed himself off of Wheeljack, the mood dropping faster than a rock on Jupiter. He laid there almost petrified of what Starscream was going to do, optics darted the Starscream who was now beginning to stand making his way towards the door that led back inside instead of flying off. _Should I say something?_ "Starscream?" he turned towards where Starscream was walking feeling naked. Part of him felt played, as if it was all apart of an elaborate plan to get him wrapped around Starscream's fingers.

The seeker stopped mid step, a glance over his shoulder at the confused engineer. To which Starscream vented a sigh and shook his head lowering his wings. "Politics," then he continued again to the doorway, stopping only once he was about to turn into the hall. He lingered there for a moment, not quite within the palace and not quite outside. Red eyes glanced over towards Wheeljack who was now sitting up looking at Starscream expecting something from him. "I'll ping you later," he paused turning away with a smile trying to hide itself away, "so we could, perhaps, continue this." And he was gone.

Wheeljack's stare lingered there for awhile before bringing his hand up to trace against the plating on his face as if missing Starscream's touch. When he caught himself doing it blue optics looked almost accusingly at his hand and it promptly dropped on his lap and he nearly slammed his body against the roof looking at the sky. Part of him could hardly believe he managed to start something between himself and the ex-Decepticon and current king of Cybertron, then there was that other part of him that punched himself in the face because he managed he start something between himself and the ex-Decepticon and current king of Cybertron. Well, he had to admit that technically Starscream started it because he was just going to hold Starscream's hand and hope it wasn't weird considering that the two of them were already pretty touchy. Still, he was the spark that began this entire forest fire. It didn't taken him long to smack his hand onto his face and drag it down, maybe he should stop overthinking things. The war was over and he was beginning to start acting as paranoid as Starscream, now there's a thought!

So he looked at the night sky, his hands returning to picking at the grime in his fingers and thoughts returning to other things. Thoughts returning to what happened specifically, and instead of analyzing every bit of what happened he laid there just thinking about the feeling that Starscream ignited and the ghost of his hands pressing onto Wheeljack's face and chest and- He was going to admit it: he was a little turned on by it.


End file.
